A Dating Suggestion for Avoidants
I want to offer some suggestions for avoidants seeking to improve their experience with dating. These suggestions are mostly intended for those seeking a long-term life partner or marriage, though I believe they will help even casual daters. The pickle we face as dating avoidants is that we engage in a whole bunch of involuntary […]
Is This My Avoidance Talking – Or My Intuition?
I think many of us avoidants struggle with trusting our feelings and perceptions in dating and relationships. When I was dating, my mind was filled with confused and anxious thoughts like: “Why do I want to break up with this person? She has so many nice qualities. Why can’t I just commit? “Is this my […]
Why Avoidants Fear Intimacy – And What To Do About It
Avoidants fear intimacy because our early experiences taught us that intimacy comes at a great price. Our caregivers failed to meet our most basic attachment needs – the need to be emotionally safe, seen, understood, cherished — so consistently that we learned to cut ourselves off from those needs and rely on ourselves instead for […]
The Shift That Changed My Dating Life As An Avoidant
For most of my adult life, dating was a very confusing and stressful experience. Like anyone, I enjoyed the thrill of early dates and first kisses. But after a short time, I would find myself twisted in knots. Is this the one? Am I leading her on? What if I’m making a mistake? Paralyzed with […]